Leaving on a Jet Plane

I expected that yesterday's dispatch would be the last but following my experiences last night and today, I felt a postscript was appropriate and what better title to use than Leaving on a Jet Plane.

The song was actually written by John Denver in 1966 but was made famous by Peter, Paul and Mary when they released it as a single in 1969.  Needless to say it topped many singles charts across the globe.

And so when I headed off in a taxi to Abu Dhabi airport at 2330 last night, I wasn't sure whether I would be travelling on an Etihad or a BA flight? By the time I got there and thanks to Sarah's intervention, I was at least guaranteed a seat on the flight even though it might have been one of the crew rest seats.

The problems started on the way to the airport when we were engulfed by fog fairly shortly after passing Jebel Ali.  It got progressively worse as our journey continued and by choice this isn't the type of road trip I would normally choose to do with a driver employed by the Dubai Taxi Corporation, at least not if I wanted to guarantee living for another day!

In fairness, he did get me there in one piece and I rewarded him, probably out of relief, with a slightly larger tip than usual.  This demonstration of generosity isn't something that comes easily to a Yorkshireman.

It was a real pea souper, one of those I remember from my childhood and I swear that visibility was less than 50 yards.  How could this be possible when I had been basking in 90 degrees Fahrenheit heat all week under clear blue skies?  Well it was possible and although very gratefully I received my boarding card for down the back of the aircraft, there was actually no aircraft to board!  It had set off for a quick return shuttle flight to collect passengers in Muscat but couldn't get back and had to land at another airport called Al Ain.  And so our waiting started.

The top and bottom of it was that the flight did eventually get back in although the next issue was the onboard crew and the number of hours that they had already worked.  It became a toss up as to whether to try and find 290 passengers a hotel for the night in Abu Dhabi, really a non-starter due to the Grand Prix that had taken place yesterday, or set off and try and make it back to Heathrow within their legally permitted hours.

We actually left the stand at around 0600 this morning but then a fault arose with the airport's technology and so it was that we eventually took to the skies at 0700 hours as the sun was rising.  This virtually destroyed any chance that we had to get back to the UK without a stop and a change of crew.  The one highlight in all this was that the delightful Captain who Sarah had flown with earlier this year actually moved me to an empty business class seat which was very quickly turned into a bed once the seat belt signs were switched off.

The flight was full of high profile celebrities who I obviously cannot name on this blog and clearly most of them were involved in Formula 1 or had been to spectate at the event as guests of the various teams.  To be honest, if I had been less tired then I might have been more interested in them but by now, all I wanted to do was get home.

At around 1030 hours UK time the Captain came over the PA to advise that the crew were indeed out of hours and that we were therefore diverting to Frankfurt!  BA were to fly another full crew out to get us back to Heathrow and by the time this had all occurred, the clock had struck 1300 hours. But yes, if you are wondering, I am now back in the UK sitting in my favourite airport terminal at Heathrow waiting until 1820 for my shuttle flight upto Leeds Bradford Airport and the welcoming sight of Sarah at the airport.  By the time I am home, I will have been travelling nearly 17 hours!  I will finish by making mention of the brilliant BA crew who went way beyond the call of duty and were only defeated by the legal system and not their own willingness to get home.  Not one passenger complained during this whole process which was testimony to how well they all dealt with a very difficult situation.

Fingers crossed that I will get home and that this is the last blog.  Don't hold your breath though...

The Winner Takes It All

As I come to the end of my week long adventure in Dubai, what other title could I use but one made famous by ABBA from their 1980 Super Trouper Album.  Like most of their single records, it reached No 1 in the UK charts.

Today is relatively concise as I write this dispatch shortly before departing for Abu Dhabi airport.  Yet again I am faced with the challenge of getting back to the UK as hundreds of other sports fans fill the planes of BA, Emirates and Virgin and whilst I had intended to try and get a flight from Dubai to London Heathrow, I have about as much chance as winning next year's Club Championship! And so I am trying to get a flight with either Etihad or BA out of the Abu Dhabi airport which lies one hour south of Dubai. Keep your fingers crossed, it might help my case!

And so back to the golf and a famous victory for Henrik Stenson which retained for him, the trophy that he first won in 2013.  I have to say that from the crowd reaction, this was a very popular victory although I did feel an amount of sympathy for Rafa Cabrera-Bello who really threw the win away with his double bogeys at 16 and 17.  For me, this was a reflection of the pressure even world class golfers can feel when coming down the stretch.  I saw Rafa getting into his chauffeur driven BMW and I have to say that he looked shattered at this defeat.  There were no smiles for the assembled crowd but perhaps that is understandable.

In contrast, Henrik looked like the cat that got the cream! Some cream of course when his take home pay today was some way north of £1 million!  Mind you, he is still some considerable millions short of recouping the monies that he lost in the Allen Stanford Ponzi scheme.

And so for me it's the end of another real fun week working at this championship. Working inside the ropes as a scorer has given me a real insight into the relationship between professional and caddy - it isn't all sweetness and light - and I have to report that a good number of players have rather lost their gloss for me having watched closely how they do their day job. There is a contrast however in those who try to maintain impeccable standards on the course but I have to reflect the professionals of today fall a long way short of knocking my golfing hero, Freddie Couples off his hard earned golfing pedestal.

It's a shame that the fun and enjoyment gained from working on the Pro-Am day was a touch tainted by the four days proper of the tournament.

Enough of my preaching because I would still recommend this experience to anyone and if anybody fancies it in 2015, button hole me at the club or send me an e-mail and I will put you in touch with Jenni Hoskins the Chief Marshall.

I have made some great friends doing this job and special mention to my second mum, Linda Mulvey who although the same age as me treats me as her son and I'm very grateful for that.  Guy and Adrian if you read this, thank you for your company and your friendship and also Jenni and her team who have been so nice to me since I first came out here in 2009.

Finally, I have to make one final mention of my two fellow Skipton volunteers Amanda and Paul who have added so much to the experience here over the last two years.  We never stop laughing in each other's company and their enthusiasm and enjoyment has a knock on effect to everybody else with whom they come into contact. They are also extremely professional out on the course.  Their only fault, or should I say Amanda's only fault is her ability to make me feel such a cheapskate for staying in the Premier Inn!! Next year for me, it's the Burj, the only seven star hotel in the world and sod the cost!

And so one final story to close this blog about my two Skipton friends.  Last night they were walking through the lobby of the Palm Atlantis and close by walking into the restaurant was today's winner Henrik Stenson. There was a shriek from a lady behind them and what did she say?  "Look, it's Paul the helicopter hero!" Henrik was devastated.

I hope you have enjoyed my musings from Dubai.  The airport beckons and I leave you with a few photos from today.

Melting Pot

I decided to stray from the topic of golf today - I will provide a brief update - and have based this dispatch around the song Melting Pot. This was the first single released by Blue Mink reaching No 3 in the UK singles chart in 1969.

However, today has been an incredibly tough day on the course with very hot weather and high humidity which managed to drain me to the core by the time my charges had completed 18 holes.  My golfers today were Darren Fichardt and Stephen Gallacher and although neither played particularly inspiring golf, I was hugely impressed by the temperament of the Ryder Cup winning Scot in contrast to the remainder of my other charges this week. He played a good few poor shots but never once got angry or upset and certainly never used the choice language that I have been hearing regularly throughout the week! In fact he struck me as a good role model for aspiring young golfers, one of whom is his own son.

Back to my own condition and a reflection of just how I felt was that I actually left the course before play had been completed rather than retiring as I have done everyday to date to the clubhouse bar for a couple of beers. This was no bad thing.  I missed the horrendous traffic that leaves the Earth Course after completion of the golf but also managed to grab a couple of hours sleep which to a certain degree has recharged my very old batteries in readiness for the final push tomorrow. During the course of my round, I actually drank 2.5 litres of water and never went to the loo once!  Information overload I know but this statistic demonstrates rather well the effect on the body of this heat and humidity.

And so to my blog title which could really have been written about the society here.  It's a massive melting pot of haves and have nots and having now visited Dubai on five occasions, from a personal perspective, I would never wish to live here although fully acknowledge the enormous benefits that residency can bring, not least of which is that you get to keep a good deal more of your money than in the UK and I assume the other nations that are represented here.

What I find most sad is my daily commute to the course when I see hundreds of white buses carrying mainly Indian and Pakistani workers to the construction sites around Dubai.  There is a massive irony  that they are paid truly meagre wages for working heaven knows how many hours in incredible heat to build the five star and above hotels for the rest of the world to stay in! When I look at their faces in the morning they actually haunt me because they look so sad.  I suppose I would look sad as well if I had to work 12 hour days in 120 degree heat and manage to get home to see my family just once every three years!

Typical of the things that surprise me are that the mainly Indian taxi drivers are given no training and are let loose immediately they arrive here. Contrast this to the "knowledge" that the London cabbies have to study. On the subject of cars, the driving standards are horrendous and only yesterday a brand new Range Rover crashed and the driver was burnt to death!  A happy thought eh? Oh and don't make offensive signs to another driver, you will more than likely end up in jail.

Alcohol can only be sold through hotels and private clubs and is very expensive. The water supply is provided by massive desalination plants and golf club membership is slightly more than we pay at Skipton.  In fact a friend of mine here, Guy, plays the Earth Course as a member and pays just under 30,000 Dirhams a year.  In old money that amounts to North of £5,000!!  Makes Skipton look reasonable value.

It isn't all negative and the one thing that impresses me above all else is the adherence to the law. A woman can walk out here at anytime of day or night and feel entirely safe.  There are some stunning high rise buildings, particularly around Dubai Marina and of course holiday makers enjoy amazing service at some of the high end and very expensive hotels.  Ask Amanda and Paul about the service but also about the cost.

I could write considerably more about the place but don't want to offend anybody or get myself locked up!  That said, I have not spoken to one expat who envisages seeing their days out in this incredible place.  For me, the grass, the trees and everything else good that we have in the UK will always override the bad things and make me proud to call the UK home.  I will now stand up for a chorus of Rule Brittania as the dispatch uploads.

Some pictures attached tonight just to continue providing a flavour of the DP World Tour Championship.

It Ain't What You Do (It's The Way That You Do It)

Tonight's blog is something of a miscellany but first to the title which is from a song first written and performed in 1939!  The version however that I am using is that recorded and performed in 1988 by The Fun Boy Three and Bananarama. The words were amended very slightly and it actually reached No 4 in the UK singles chart. What's crucial here are the song's lyrics that follow the title and they are "that's what gets results."

You must wonder in some of my musings if the heat of Dubai is having a detrimental affect on me but no, the choice of title tonight is very much a reflection of Jenni Hoskins, the Chief Marshall and the team of people that she has working all around her. No I'm not being sycophantic (an impressive word for someone from up North) to try and gain advantage and be given the best jobs!  It doesn't work with Jenni and rightly so but when I consider the component parts of the total volunteer army, I simply wouldn't have her job for a king's ransom.

There are scorers, static marshals, roving marshals, spotters and buggy drivers to name just a few and they all have to be organised on a daily basis. This is further complicated because some can only work early in the day, some from lunchtime. Others can only work one day, some all four.  Some of course don't even turn up as promised. The permutations are endless and it can create a logistical nightmare for Jenni and her team.  Of course she also has to deal with the egos and the prima donna volunteers like me but that's another story!

Through it all, she appears to remain calm on the outside (although it must be hell on the inside) and everything seems to run smoothly and provide the European PGA the support it needs to run such a major tournament. All I can really say is nice one Jenni, all your support team and all the volunteers who give their time so freely.

As far as today was concerned, compared to yesterday, it was an absolute breeze as I acted as scorer for Bernd Wiesberger and Darren Fichardt and you should try saying those two names after a few beers!  No comms or machine problems which was a touch disappointing after my adventures of yesterday and my first foray into the world of radio speak.  Perhaps tomorrow I will be able to get the words "ten four good buddy" into a transmission somewhere!! Anyway, both players improved considerably over my charges of yesterday by shooting two under and four under respectively although if Darren had putted better he would have been close to the leader, Henrik Stenson.

As a slight aside, I must also make mention of my score board carrier today, a truly delightful schoolgirl called Diva who was born in Bali and was frighteningly intelligent for one so young. For someone who did not know the game, she was right on the mark with all the scores and was often changing the board before I had had chance to ask her to do it. She had done such a great job that after we shook hands with the players on the 18th I happily carried the very heavy board back to the scorer's hut and she carried my clipboard.

One final item tonight and that is my fellow Skipton members Amanda and Paul.  Everyone who comes into contact with Amanda immediately falls in love with her and everyone who comes into contact with Paul wants to adopt him!  They are a joy to be around with the exception of our contrasting accommodation.  They are staying in one of the finest and most expensive hotels in Dubai, the Palm Atlantis while I am staying in the Premier Inn.  All 60 players are staying in their hotel and every night they rub shoulders with these leviathans of the game.  Amanda of course plays down the luxury and the standing of this Dubai icon....NOT,  but do you know what?  It doesn't have free wifi and in this day and age that's a real bummer.  Next year I have a feeling that they will be trading up to the seven star Premier Inn.

A few photos tonight including one with the "Caddie of the Year"Craig Connelly (he is on Martin Kaymer's bag), 2011 Masters Champion Charl Schwartzel and some other famous faces that the golf fans amongst you will recognise including Chief Referee of the European Tour, John Paramor. Oh and one of me Chief Marshal Jenni and another with some of her team.  Finally of course, a photo of a couple of sun baked Skipton members.

Communication Breakdown!

A touch obscure tonight but the title comes from a track on Led Zeppelin's 1969 debut album.  They used it to either open their live shows or as an encore and it became an anthem for the frustrated youth of the day.  Was I really one of those frustrated youths?

Anyway, I don't really know where to start today's blog although I will preface it by saying that I have enjoyed the day probably more than any other in my short marshalling career, despite it providing a baptism of fire.

Today was the start of the DP World Tour Championship proper and I am not afraid to admit that I was slightly nervous about my new responsibilities as a TV Scorer. Why you might ask?  Well today and every day from now, the Scorer's role is about communication from the course to the control centre of the European PGA.

Every scorer is equipped with two methods of communication and it is only now, as an avid watcher of golf tournaments on the TV, that I realise what goes on behind the scenes. The first item is a machine utilised to record the individual score of the golfers.  Now this is extremely important because after every hole has been played there is a process whereby you enter these scores and ultimately press a send button that not only sends said scores to the control centre on the course, it also sends them instantly to every interested party around the world including the American PGA!!  Once that button has been pressed the score you have recorded appears on every big screen around the course and every big screen where the action might be being watched worldwide!  It cannot be retrieved without a great deal of effort by someone much more senior than a humble TV scorer.  So it is rather important.  Of course to relay this information, you need a wireless network around the course and here on the Earth Course, that requires you to enter them by the side of every green.

All was going well today and confidence was starting to build until the dreaded radio communication came out, "the network is down at holes 10, 11 and 12!"  At that point they didn't know it was also down at 13 but as first scorer on the course it quickly became clear that they had a problem there as well.  Of course, that was where the second piece of equipment, the two way radio transmitter, came into play as I found myself not only concentrating intensely to record every shot but then having to radio this information to central control.  Men are simple beings, able to handle only one thing at a time but here I was trying to multi-task, a thing that the female of the species handle with ease.

Actually, I was quite proud of myself as my radio communications improved by the minute - credit for which I must give to my pilot daughter Sarah.  I think she would have been dead chuffed to hear her dad's calm, clear and crisp delivery of "affirm" to the control centre.

Unfortunately, the crisis hadn't quite ended as coming off the 13th green, my scoring machine froze, just like a Windows computer!! You couldn't make it up and I ended up being talked through a reboot process by somebody in a faraway place.  And yet despite all this, it was a brilliant experience and has given me an enormous confidence boost for tomorrow.  If I could handle all that today on my Scorer's debut, bring on any problems you want tomorrow.

For the record, my charges today didn't play the greatest of golf with Matteo Manassero and Matthew Baldwin both recording identical three over par scores.

Usual photos attached including one of the now infamous scoring machine!

I could write so much more about this experience but in the words of the semi proficient radio operator that I now consider myself to be, OUT. 

Goody Two Shoes

I've started and now I can't seem to finish using song titles for my blog and tonight's is one that was recorded by Adam Ant in 1982.  It was his first release as a solo artist and went straight to No 1 in June staying there for two weeks.

By now you must be all wondering how on earth can this song title be relevant to a golf tournament in Dubai??  Well I'll tell you and I preface the tale by reminding you that today was supposed to be a quiet day. In fact you could say the calm before the storm of tomorrow.

It all revolves around my wonderful host, Linda, a fellow volunteer who took pity on me as a virgin marshal in 2009 and who has been mothering me ever since. My daughter Sarah has met Linda and knows just what a lovely and caring person she is. The story continues because it includes another volunteer, Peter from Australia ( I could write a book about Lebanese born Peter) whom we both befriended at the Dubai Desert Classic in 2011. The three of us never stopped laughing all week and there was one occasion when we were all crying with laughter on our way to the Emirates course at six in the morning!  I have recounted the tale somewhere else, possibly in another of my blogs but Peter tried desperately all that week but ultimately without success to get the signature of Tiger Woods on a golf cap for his young nephew.  Rather than only taking disappointment home to the youngster, I signed the hat instead, totally illegible and to this day Peter has never come clean about what we did.  When our time is up I think that we will both be heading down rather than up!!

Anyway, Peter announced a couple of days ago that he was coming to Dubai for a few days with his son and suggested that we meet up.  This is where Linda played her part because last night she announced to me that she had arranged for us to play golf this morning at Jebel Ali Golf Resort just on the outskirts of Dubai.  Slight problem for me because unlike Peter, I didn't have any golf gear whatsoever with the exception of my prized Footjoy golf shoes that feel part of me when I have them on my feet. That was ok therefore as everything else could be hired and so off we went this morning at 9am, laughing hysterically all the way to the course in the taxi, very much anticipating the mind games of this Pom v Aussie clash.  All was well (and here is the punchline) until I went to put my shoes on. I didn't have one shoe and actually I didn't even have two shoes!  No, I had left them in the taxi, just one of about 3000 identical such vehicles that ply their trade around Dubai!! And so the shoes that were going to carry me around the 30,000 yards of fairway on the Earth Course for the next four days have now probably racked up 930,000 yards around the highways and byways of Dubai.  It caused the laughter to stop for a good five minutes but it wasn't long before I had forgotten all about the shoes and the laughter started again.

I didn't get my round of golf but watched Peter team up with another friend of Linda's and when I saw my intended 22 handicap opponent smite the ball straight down the first fairway for 250 yards I thought, typical bloody Aussie!

I've got so many other funny tales to tell but will end with one relating to a picture I have included below. For you golf fans I hope that you recognise Peter Cowan, one of the finest coaches in the modern game. So good is he that 10 of the players here are clients of his.  He is a really nice guy and never one to miss an opportunity I asked if he would take a quick look at my set up and having seen it if he had any advice? Quick as a flash he came back with, "have you ever thought about crown green bowls?"  Deflated? No.  Determined to prove Pete wrong? No!  Anybody after a set of almost new G20s??

Note the photo with the man who hit the shot that retained us the Ryder Cup.

The big day tomorrow.  Nervous? Me?  Damn right I am but being blooded with Matteo Manassero and Matthew Baldwin. Should be a breeze...

Fantastic Day

For those of you with a musical bent you will realise that I have reverted to type and used a song title to describe my experiences today!  Purely for music education purposes, this was a song released by Haircut One Hundred in 1982 and reached No 9 in the singles charts in that year.  These were actually the only two words that I felt appropriate to describing my day at the Earth Course in Dubai.

Today was Pro-Am day, a pre-tournament feature of most of today's major golf tournaments and one that I haven't been able to accurately determine if the Professionals like or dislike?  Certainly from the amateur's point of view it must be magical to step out on the course with one of your golfing heroes and hopefully impress them with your mastery and control of these things we call golf clubs.  Mind you with several very high handicappers playing today, I can't be sure that mastery is a word that would come into their vocabulary!

Having said all that, the majority of the Professionals I have come into contact with today have been impeccable in the way that they have dealt with their playing partners and the marshalls and in my eyes have been a true credit to their sport.  There was one funny or maybe not so funny incident today when one amateur team member arrived late (how could this happen when you are partnered with one of the world's top ten?) and asked if he could tee off and chase the rest of his team who by this time were putting out on their first hole!  Needless to see his request was politely refused and he played on 17 holes instead of the 18 he expected.

My own duties today involved motorised transport which meant myself and a fellow volunteer Adrian, ferrying every fourball between certain tees in our extended golf buggies.  It sounds boring perhaps but let me tell you that it is brilliant to have people like Rory McIllroy, Henrik Stenson, Justin Rose and Lee Westwood as a captive audience.  For all of those who know me as a shy, quiet and very retiring (or is that retired?) Yorkshireman, they were all clearly captivated by my company!  Seriously though they were a true delight, very giving of their time and more than happy to let us get photographs on the tee. My conversation varied from wine with Ernie Els - he suggested that we must visit his estate in South Africa when we go next year and sample what I understand are some brilliant and inexpensive reds. Then there was British Airways with Justin Rose who benefits from the former's sponsorship.  He had been a tad distracted until I told him of my BA pilot daughter and he then went on to talk about the work he is doing with BA and also his recent family move to the Bahamas. Oh and Lee Westwood and Billy Foster, Billy of course always ribbing me about Skipton Golf Club but Lee far more interested in South Africa, the pound to rand exchange rate and Ernie's vineyard.  Mind you, that possibly gained his attention because he is heading down there next week for the Nedbank Challenge.

The most striking thing today however was that to a man, they are all extremely tired and looking forward to breaks varying from 2 weeks to in one case 7 weeks.  That tiredness is felt to an even greater degree by their caddies who collectively have amassed multi millions of air miles.

Enough for today and as always I will let some of my photos do the talking.  I know you'll recognise me but just who are those superstars of our game that I am hanging out with?

A quiet day tomorrow so the next dispatch might be Thursday following Day 1 of the tournament.