Goody Two Shoes

I've started and now I can't seem to finish using song titles for my blog and tonight's is one that was recorded by Adam Ant in 1982.  It was his first release as a solo artist and went straight to No 1 in June staying there for two weeks.

By now you must be all wondering how on earth can this song title be relevant to a golf tournament in Dubai??  Well I'll tell you and I preface the tale by reminding you that today was supposed to be a quiet day. In fact you could say the calm before the storm of tomorrow.

It all revolves around my wonderful host, Linda, a fellow volunteer who took pity on me as a virgin marshal in 2009 and who has been mothering me ever since. My daughter Sarah has met Linda and knows just what a lovely and caring person she is. The story continues because it includes another volunteer, Peter from Australia ( I could write a book about Lebanese born Peter) whom we both befriended at the Dubai Desert Classic in 2011. The three of us never stopped laughing all week and there was one occasion when we were all crying with laughter on our way to the Emirates course at six in the morning!  I have recounted the tale somewhere else, possibly in another of my blogs but Peter tried desperately all that week but ultimately without success to get the signature of Tiger Woods on a golf cap for his young nephew.  Rather than only taking disappointment home to the youngster, I signed the hat instead, totally illegible and to this day Peter has never come clean about what we did.  When our time is up I think that we will both be heading down rather than up!!

Anyway, Peter announced a couple of days ago that he was coming to Dubai for a few days with his son and suggested that we meet up.  This is where Linda played her part because last night she announced to me that she had arranged for us to play golf this morning at Jebel Ali Golf Resort just on the outskirts of Dubai.  Slight problem for me because unlike Peter, I didn't have any golf gear whatsoever with the exception of my prized Footjoy golf shoes that feel part of me when I have them on my feet. That was ok therefore as everything else could be hired and so off we went this morning at 9am, laughing hysterically all the way to the course in the taxi, very much anticipating the mind games of this Pom v Aussie clash.  All was well (and here is the punchline) until I went to put my shoes on. I didn't have one shoe and actually I didn't even have two shoes!  No, I had left them in the taxi, just one of about 3000 identical such vehicles that ply their trade around Dubai!! And so the shoes that were going to carry me around the 30,000 yards of fairway on the Earth Course for the next four days have now probably racked up 930,000 yards around the highways and byways of Dubai.  It caused the laughter to stop for a good five minutes but it wasn't long before I had forgotten all about the shoes and the laughter started again.

I didn't get my round of golf but watched Peter team up with another friend of Linda's and when I saw my intended 22 handicap opponent smite the ball straight down the first fairway for 250 yards I thought, typical bloody Aussie!

I've got so many other funny tales to tell but will end with one relating to a picture I have included below. For you golf fans I hope that you recognise Peter Cowan, one of the finest coaches in the modern game. So good is he that 10 of the players here are clients of his.  He is a really nice guy and never one to miss an opportunity I asked if he would take a quick look at my set up and having seen it if he had any advice? Quick as a flash he came back with, "have you ever thought about crown green bowls?"  Deflated? No.  Determined to prove Pete wrong? No!  Anybody after a set of almost new G20s??

Note the photo with the man who hit the shot that retained us the Ryder Cup.

The big day tomorrow.  Nervous? Me?  Damn right I am but being blooded with Matteo Manassero and Matthew Baldwin. Should be a breeze...